He/She/Shim, Rob aka Mercedes ready to rumble with Man-ny Pacquiao

He can hit Manny Pacquiao with pulverizing punches.

She can smash Pacman, and the key part of the name is “man,” with a glittering and stylish purse.

He can talk smack about how he will destroy the Pinoy Idol. He has even sparred with the Mancunian idol Ricky Hatton who, as far as I know, has no plans to become Rochelle Hatton.

She can give Manny a smack, a smooch, with freshly glossed lipstick.

He is Rob Newbiggin, journeyman boxer from the United Kingdom.

She is Mercedes, the woman inside the boxer who is about to bloom fully with medical treatment to enhance his/her/its estrogen.

They are one and the same.

I’ve found the ultimate opponent for Pacquiao, a foe against whom Manny can make ring history and ring herstory simultaneously.

I think we should call it “Shim Versus Pacman.”

Forget about tennis playing Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs or Sorenstam or any woman golfer trying to outdo the boys on the professional links.

This fight would truly be “The Battle of the Sexes,” with the emphasis and underline on sexes, plural.

Not only that, what a terrific once in a glorious fighting career chance for Pacquiao to really get in touch with his frilly feminine side.

I don’t know about you, ahem, guys but the very concept sends a tingle up my skirt. Imagine how stimulating it must be to Professor Dumbledore, Bernie Vee, Arcadia and the other acidic comment posters you read underneath my columns.

Surely, Roberta, I mean promoter Robert Arum would get the appeal of this Mixed Match instantly.

We can subtitle it “Gender Bender” and open up a world of sponsor tie-ins you can’t lure for a man fighting another man.

How easy would it be to get the Mercedes automakers on board for their namesake?

I can see the TV spots now: "Can Manny drive a Mercedes?"

And how about the inevitable HBO 24/7 program which could tell the tail of Newbiggin.

The baby (boy but confused) was born in Pennsylvania in September of 1964 and was quickly ditched by his South American parents.

The child had high levels of estrogen and, according to him, was “intersexual and not truly classified as male or female.

The child bounced from adoption centers to foster homes until a childless couple from England adopted him and the family moved to Canada. Later, they went home to the UK.

And, as these stories often seem to go, Rob knew at age 10 that he was “different” than the other lads.

Rob liked to play dress up and hang with females. When he got older and his mates were drinking and chasing girls, he sat forlorn at home.

Since Rob/Mercedes' wife is supportive of the sex change, imagine a portion of the HBO preflight show in which Jinkee Pacquiao and Newbiggin’s missus talk about domestic life and strife.

Let Floyd Mayweather sit on the sidelines, Pacman. Let him stew in his man cave in Las Vegas.

There is nothing feminine about him. He plays the macho man role, the big talker, the money flasher and all that.

Mayweather is loaded with testosterone not to mention delusions of grandeur.

On the other hand, what manner of manly man calls himself “Pretty Boy?”

Rob Newbiggin a/k/a Mercedes could show him a thing or two about being pretty, I’m sure.

Newbiggin, who is only a six round prelim fighter now, could really strike a blow for transgendered people across the world by fearlessly fighting Pacquiao.

I just hope it’s not a low blow…if you know what I mean.

So many men have tried to vanquish Pacquiao, so many have failed miserably.

Rob, the ordinary prelim pug, could never do it.

Just for spits and giggles between us girls, I looked up Newbiggin's ring record on Boxrec.

And a fine record it is, 3-12 as a pro with one KO, loser of his last seven bouts. Mark Rob/Mercedes down as a "fesity junior middleweight" but I'm sure he/she/it could slim down by eating like a small bird so weight would be no problem for a Manny fight.

There's commerical sponsorships in the weight loss regimen as well.

Let's give “Mercedes” her chance to maul Pacman.

Those clinches alone may be worth the price of arena admission or the PPV TV tariff.

The ball, singular, is now in Manny’s court.

Are you man enough to rise to the challenge of Mercedes formerly known as Rob?

For once, we will see photos of a fighter in drag, in women’s wear, and there will be no denials of his/her/its or shim’s identity.

It takes a real man to fight an opponent who is both man and woman.

After the bout, Manny and Mercedes can leave the ring together, in sexual solidarity, and go powder their noses.

Now that’s real sisterhood and brotherhood at the same time.

I see that Melissa To Be will fight Michael Gomez Aug. 14 in Manchester. Gomez, 32, is known as "The Predator."

But Gomez, as far as he knows, has never battled a foe who favors wigs, heavy makeup and mini-skirts.

After that bout, Newbiggin hopes to launch her new ring career as Mercedes.

I think Mercedes against Manny will be a Super Fight, not to mention a catfight.

What say you, Pacfans?

I wonder if that Thai style Ladyboy fighter is available to be the refershee.

Source: http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-5699-NY-Boxing-Examiner~y2009m8d3-HeSheShim-Rob-aka-Melissa-ready-to-rumble-with-Manny-Pacquiao